Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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