I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
did i just pee glitter
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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