Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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