You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
