Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
