she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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