seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
