names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
