Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
