Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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