i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
