the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize