apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
