I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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