Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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