so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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