i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
