where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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