you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
