I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
