She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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