I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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