he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
