NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
