i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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