we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
