"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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