I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize