i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
