Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
