We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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