I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
