People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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