I wish I could punch you in the face.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize