It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
