Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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