have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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