Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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