Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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