the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
