Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
