He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
