Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's rum buckets o'clock
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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