I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
