We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You made out with two different species that night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
