I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize