I can't watch pbs sober anymore
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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