Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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