i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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