I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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