my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
