I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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