we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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