just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
