is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
