She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
