let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
