Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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