remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
